🌸 knowing when to let go. 🌸

In life, you meet a lot of people who eventually become friends, colleagues, associates and more. Although it seems that having a lot of people in your life appears to be a great thing, I find that quality over quantity is an important factor when forming long-lasting relationships. There are times where I have had to let go of certain people from my life due to many behaviours, mainly negative types that can be harmful for me and my overall wellbeing.

Toxic people are like chameleons; they appear to be well-meaning or kind yet inside they are hiding their worst traits. It is hard to identify red flags sometimes because I am unable to pick up on social cues as well as most (due to autism and also because I have always been a very trusting person) but I am learning more and using past experiences to realise when certain behaviour isn't OK. For example, I met an individual who appeared to have the qualities of a good friend. Someone who supported my creative journey and had relatable qualities (due to having autism/ADHD like myself). But due to a misunderstanding, their true behaviour came out and when my feelings weren't acknowledged (in terms of the impact of comments), I realised this is not someone I need in my life.

Toxic people are very draining; when around them I feel like a phone battery: my energy depletes and every bit of self-esteem goes away. They manipulate, gaslight and make you believe you are in the wrong. This has happened to me many times, with family and more so-called "friends" who were not the people I thought. These types don't care about how YOU feel, they refuse to take accountability and like to play the victim many times. Using the above example, this individual said they were an asshole yet made me feel I was in the wrong when it came to being upset. My vulnerability was dismissed as "emotional dumping" and of course, I was told that if I don't feel safe around them, to leave. This solidified the answer I needed and to be honest, a part of me was glad I saw how they were.

It is very important to recognise when red flags appear around people. For me, certain people give off a bad aura so to say; due to being spiritual a part of me senses when people are off or have bad vibes. If things don't feel right, I keep my distance as far as possible in order to protect myself. Setting boundaries is something that you must do when coming face-to-face with a toxic person. And also, keep the genuine people close to you. These are the ones who will support you when you need it.

Have you ever had the experience of dealing with a toxic person? Let me know in the comments. Until next time, sayonara for now. 🌸